Holidays, Family, and Stress

There's an old commercial of a large white house with blue shudders. The house is decorated with white icicle lights and pine wreaths with red bows. The snow is falling and the music is playing. A family gets out of their station wagon and makes their way up to the front door. In their arms are piled Christmas presents wrapped with beautiful paper and ribbon. Before the parents and their kids arrive at the door, grandma and grandma open the door with arms open wide and give each family member great big hugs then hurry them inside out of the cold. The next scene is the family sitting around the dining room table with a large Christmas ham and the place settings perfectly situated. The music still playing, the smiles and laughter provide a clear indication that everyone is enjoying themselves. The final scene is the family sitting around the Christmas tree in their pajamas. As dad opens his gift, he is delighted to receive another neck-tie. The kids are elated at the sight of all the presents and can hardly contain themselves until the receive the next wrapped gift to open. With the music still playing, its obvious that this is what a family is. Its obvious that this is what the holidays are all about. Its obvious that any person watching the commercial is thinking to themselves, why isn't my family like that.

For many people the thought of family time like this is not occasion to sing, "Joy to the World" or "Walking in a Winter Wonderland." For many, the mere thought of Christmas is stressful. Christmas to many means putting things on layaway which will be later bought with credit cards. It means putting on smiles while you pretend to enjoy being around relatives. It means enduring family traditions which feel like just another hoop to jump through until you can make (and break) another New Years resolution. For some, the thought of Christmas just reminds them of the stress they have to endure for an entire month. The joy of Christmas seems to be overshadowed by the pain of remembering hurt feelings and tense family environments.

Many of the clients I see at the Marriage and Family Institute express that they do not want to continue counseling during the holiday season because things are just too busy. Many times the holiday season brings up a lot of the pain associated with family for a variety of reasons. The family traditions cause people to long for the day when family members were still alive to share in them. Having family get togethers where abusive relatives are present presents its own kind of pain. The starting of new family traditions seems painful for parents who want their kids to do things the way they have always been done their way and stressful for grown kids who feel like they can't start their own without hurting the parents.

Many people don't know how to handle the stress. Many people attempt to plow through the stress and instead of starting a new year recharged and ready to go, they are left trying to recover from the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The problem is not having too many stressful tasks this month. The problem is that people often try to raise their level of stress tolerance instead of lowering it.

When people try to raise their level of stress tolerance, they are finding ways to add to their plate more of the same things which stress them out. If you already have 5 things on your plate and there are 3 things you cannot handle, raising your stress tolerance to deal with the three things left out will only help you feel like you can put more than eight things on your plate. Instead we need to think about ways we can lower our tolerance for stress. Lowering our stress tolerance will help us to not have such high expectations that we burn out. When we lower our tolerance for stress, we find ways to manage our stress without overburdening ourselves. This makes us much more pleasant to be around on Christmas morning and instead of feeling burned out by New Years, you can feel recharged and ready to go instead. The link below describes 12 ways you can help lower your tolerance for stress this holiday season.

Stress, depression and the holidays: 12 tips for coping.

~JK

Holidays, Family, and Stress

istillwearchaoswhenitryonorder!

Do you ever step back and try to reexamine your life?

-Sitting on top of my toilet right now is a book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Everytime I sit down, I read one of the two-page suggestions on how to make life more meaningful by looking at the forrest instead of the trees.

-Every other week, I will re-decide that it is really good for me to wake up at 6:00 to "get things done", even if I do not have anywhere to be until 9:00.

-Once every three to four months, I will input all my debit card and check transactions into Quicken so that I can feel like I manage my finances well.

-The laundary tossing and turning in the dryer right now is a reminder of the 11 loads I have left to wash, dry, and fold.

-The walks Krista and I take are often enough to keep me thinking about my health, but not frequent enough to change it.

-My planner lieing open next to me keeps me running between appointments, straining as I fulfill my obligations, always thinking, "What do I have to do next?"

-The passage I read this morning seems way too fresh for someone who preaches every other week and is working on a Masters of Divinity.

Do you ever feel like in order to get one area of your life in line, every other area must be perfect as well. Its an incredibly hopeless feeling and at the same time, getting one of these accomplished for a week makes me feel like its doable. I mutter, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" until I run out of breath and then I simply think about thinking about it. How can rely on God more to help me bring order out of the chaos that I feel sometimes? How can I turn my desire into my effort? How can I pull it together?

istillwearchaoswhenitryonorder!

I Don't Mean to Offend You...

For some reason, it seems like our society has grown accustomed to feeling like it has a right not to be offended. I feel like anytime I am sharing my opinions or views, that I have to preface what I am saying with, "I am not trying to offend you," or "this is just my opinion." We like in a day where everyone is so thin-skinned that you can hardly help but offend people. WHY MUST WE BE AFRAID TO SHARE WHAT WE THINK!!!! I don't get it... Someone help me out.

~JK

I Don't Mean to Offend You...

Holy Action Figures!

I was browsing J.P. McCarty's site and saw a Jesus action figure. I started to browse the internet to see where I could find one and stumbled across these other Holy Action Figures.

Jesus Christ Action Figure

With ninja-messiah throwing nails and death killer, cross pump action, over-under shotgun.


God Almighty Action Figure

Complete with Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle, and halllowed cloak of invulnerability.

Satan doesn't stand a chance!!

~JK

Holy Action Figures!

Ticked, Hacked Off and Extremely Irritated About the Word "P*s*ed"

It seems like recently I have been hearing more and more of a word that I thought was one of those "bad words." When people express themselves using the word, and I am going to say it for the sake of discussion, pissed - there is something inside of me that just cringes. I know that cultures change and words which used to be considered socially unacceptable are now commonplace but how did I get left out of the circle where they talked about how this word would now be acceptable. I don't know that I would have voted for it but I feel that I am behind on the times.
What is even more surprising is that I hear this word in various Christian circles. I have heard Christian friends, professors, family members, and even a minister a time or two use it to express themselves. Am I simply too conservative. Is this word any different than saying that you are hacked off, or ticked or really really angry? Will I look back on this post in ten years and think it was so silly for me to be writing about. There are certain words, even if condoned by society, I will never use - that is, except for the sake of trying to identify its legitimacy. I don't know if this is a sentiment that other people share regarding this word but having heard it several times yesterday, I thought I would express my thoughts. Thanks for reading!

~JK

Ticked, Hacked Off and Extremely Irritated About the Word "P*s*ed"

Come Out, Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Is there shame in going to counseling? I am sitting in a computer lab at 8:34 in the morning. I have a new client at 9:00 this morning and I am wondering if they are going to come. It has been my experience since I started counseling people that many believe there is something shameful about it. I think that people realize that they may need counseling but for some reason do not make the first step to receiving it. Others may call and set up an appointment but not show up. I suppose if people have lived with the "junk in the trunk", as I like to call it, so far, what is the harm in keeping it hidden for a little while longer. The other thing I have noticed since starting this program a year and a half ago is that EVERYONE has "junk in their trunk." unfortunately, the stigma against counseling, or therapy is too strong. I really appreciate a song that has come out recently by Joy Williams. It is called hide and I think that it really says a lot about the shame that people are feeling and the need to make it known.

Hide by Joy Williams

To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who holds their pain inside
To anyone who thinks they are not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away

You don't have to hide
You don't have to hide anymore
You don't have to face this on your own
You don't have to hide anymore

So come out, come out, come out wherever you are
Anyone who's trying to cover up their scars
To anyone who's ever made a big mistake
We all been there, so don't be ashamed

Come out, come out and join the rest of us
You've been alone for way too long
And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the One with scars on His hands
'Cause He knows where you are and where you've been
His scars will heal you if you let Him

~JK

Come Out, Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

I am Leviticus....!?!

Here is an interesting website. Take a test, find out what book of the Bible epitomizes who you are. Fun, hokey, but interesting nonetheless.

Here is my "diagnosis." What do you think?



Which book of the Bible are you?

~JK

I am Leviticus....!?!

Labels and Spectrums and Transformation

I sincerely dislike labels. I think they are often arbitrary and subjective. Especially as it pertains to Christians and their theological beliefs. It easy to label people as conservative/traditional and liberal/progressive/contemporary. In reality, it seems as if wherever one might be sitting on the spectrum from the left or right, they tend to consider anyone to the right of themselves, "conservative" and everyone to the left, "liberal." It also seems that in general people tend to think that if anyone is to the right of them, they can still be considered a brother and sister in Christ, but if someone holds views which land them on the spectrum to the left, there are irreconcilable differences. In essence, we are saying that whenever someone may seem to be "playing it safe" there is more security there. Sounds like it should make sense. This is a difficult challenge as on the one hand I consider myself too conservative to say whether someone is safe or not and on the other, it is important for us as Christians to be spurring one another on to be more transformed to the image of Christ. I am not sure that our transformation into the image of Christ can really be put on a spectrum because it ought to always be in transition. I like to think that I haven't arrived yet. I, as one who sincerely dislikes labels, may be thought of as hypocritical for even posting about this. My views are welcomed to be challenged and I know that in most cases are in need of revision. This was just something I was thinking about recently.

~JK

Labels and Spectrums and Transformation

To Learn Spanish or Not!

Several times in my life I have attempted to learn Spanish. Krista is nearly fluent in the language and has been blessed with the opportunity to use it in the work place. She has told me about times when her patients at the hospital were totally clueless regarding what a family member was going through. When they were finally able to talk to someone who could translate what the doctor was saying, their faces lit up.
It seems as if the population of Spanish-only speakers in America is growing. I do not consider this a bad thing, but simply another hurdle in being able to reach people who are in need. I took a year of Spanish in college but sadly, there is not a great Spanish speaking population in Searcy, Arkansas. I purchased a "How to Learn Spanish CD" but who has time to do that. As I near graduation from my marriage and family therapy program, the need to know Spanish fluently is even more glaring. I recently heard that in Abilene (population 100,000 +) there are only two Spanish speaking therapists. This is shocking since there is such a large community of Hispanic people.
Krista and I are faced with an important decision. We want to be able to reach out to others as a team. We have had many chances to serve in Latin American countries and I have felt at a deficit because of my lack of language skills. Upon graduating next August, we are trying to decide if we ought to go to a Latin American country for a few months so that I can go to language learning school full time and be immersed in a culture where I will have no choice but to become fluent. There are several schools we know of. The main ones we have looked at are in Costa Rica and Guatemala. The one in Guatemala, Christian Spanish Academy, seems to be my favorite option right now.
There are many details we are considering regarding this decision. If we were to go for 12 weeks, the cost including airfare would be $5700. We have considered raising support for this given our goals. Missionaries in foreign countries have to learn the language. Why would doing domesitic mission work to Hispanic communities be any different. This is just one of the factors on our minds in making this decision.
Please pray for us as we try and decide what we want to do when we grow up!

God Bless,
~JK

To Learn Spanish or Not!

Dogs Bark

Gemma, a Filipino woman in my class once commented on a difference between Americans and Philippines. She said that she thought it was strange when Americans don't like their dogs to bark. At first I didn't understand what she was trying to say and then it became clear to me. Dogs Bark! They are dogs; that is what they do. For some reason, we as Americans love having pets but we get frustrated when our pets act like pets!

Krista and I have three dogs. But of course, our dogs aren't the problem. The problem is that the neighbor two doors down lets his dog outside at precisely 7:30 every morning. When his dog is let out, my dog barks. For a long time I have struggled with the fact that my dog barks because we have an apartment behind our house that we rent out and I have always been afraid of imposing on people or feeling like something of mine is a nuisance. We even went out and bought a dog bark collar that electrically shocks him whenever he barks. Strange huh?
I have finally come to grips with the fact that dogs bark. This is something that is going to happen and when people may complain about my dog barking, I will just tell them that he is a dog and he is going to bark.

Dogs Bark

Joel Osteen

hmmm...?

~JK

Joel Osteen

Movie Class/Sunday School

Next weekend, Krista and I are going down to Houston to visit my family where my dad has just began the position of Worship Minister at the Kingwood Church of Christ. Today I talked to my dad and he asked me if I would be interested in (co)teaching one of the Sunday night adult classes there. They have been doing a series where they watch a few short clips from a movie and then discuss the spiritual/theological/religious implications for their lives. I thought this was a great idea so I agreed and now I am left to come up with a topic as well as a movie with clips that contain no objectionable material (after all, we wouldn't want to confront sin in the church setting ;o) which also pack a theological punch. Anyone have any great ideas?

~JK

Movie Class/Sunday School

Pride and Prejudice

I can't think of a better way to spend my evening than to blog about how much I dislike the movie Pride and Prejudice. In the mean time, Krista (along with many other devout Minter Lane Church of Christ Craft-Nighters) cannot think of a better use of six hours on a Tuesday night than a Pride and Prejudice marathon.

What is it about this movie? Before you ask the question of whether or not I have actually seen the A&E version of Jane Austen's book, I will go ahead and answer it for you: I have. I actually bought the DVD for Krista and sat down to watch them one day when we were doing laundry (Again before you ask, yes, I do laundry). I cannot say that midway through one of the 22 or 23 episodes I did not find the recently folded pile of downy smelling t-shirts useful for a pillow, but I did make an effort to bond my with my wife through the agony of a six hour chick-flick.

I think what is more peculiar to me is that this is not an occurrence that happens rarely. I think it may be the third or fourth time in the last year that my wife will have watched the movie in its entirety. I guess this is not too hard to believe, considering that since the movie is so dreadfully long that by the end of it, you cannot remember what happened at the beginning. Why would you be able to remember a month after the fact what the awful thing was about?

BUT...Men, we are in luck. Word round the P&P fanclub is that there is a much shorter version of the movie coming out so those of you who have been blessed thus far so as not to have had to view the six hour version will only have to endure a 2 hour version.

Perhaps in another ten years, we will have this bad boy down to 1 hour. One can only hope.

~JK

Pride and Prejudice

Separation Anxiety

Vulnerability...

I can think of no other reason why we hurt so much when friends move away. Why we miss our spouses when they are gone on trips. Why when those we care about so deeply are away from us.

Vulnerability...

I wonder why when we make friends, we don't evaluate what the outcome of our friendship with them will truly be. Would people still become friends with others if they knew that there would be times when they might be separated? No doubt we all know that in starting a friendship with someone (especially in college) that it will not be long before they move back home to where they first came from or to Paducah or Austin, or Memphis where they have found jobs. Yet for some reason, we always open ourselves up. We take the chance. We say, I am going to expose myself to whatever may happen in being in relationship with these wonderful people.

Vulnerability...

I heard a friend once say that, "The level of our hurt is equal to the level of our love." Perhaps this is why every relationship that has ever existed has presented this dichotomy where in order to pursue friendship, bond, companionship, and union there must be sacrifice. We must make ourselves vulnerable to what may happen when that bond is somehow broken. I think without this vulnerability our relationships would be flat, empty and meaningless. Fortunately, the broken bond often only means a distance of a thousand miles or so.

Lately many of my friends have moved or are going to be moving away. They will be starting jobs as Therapists, Ministers, Actors, and Physicists. For some reason, Abilene is not the place where all those dreams can come true. I have also felt this separation anxiety in that recently Krista spent a week in Mexico. While she was gone, there was an incessant battery of questions regarding where she was at. It seemed as if each one was another reminder of the fact that she was not with me and an even more vivid reminder of the vulnerability which we gladly and willingly bear for the sake of love and friendship.

As my friends leave for their new jobs, the feelings I have are bitter sweet. I am excited to see how God is blessing them in their lives and how they are gaining exciting experiences, but at the same time, I am experiencing the pains of separation anxiety. Selfishly, I do not want any of them to leave. Had I known I would have been feeling all these things when I first met them...I am sure I would not have done anything different. I know the relationship I have with them is due to the fact that I didn't hold anything back. I wish all my friends the best as they pursue their careers and bless the Kingdom of God.

~JK

Separation Anxiety

EVIE!!!!!!!

Okay, its official, I'm smitten. I have a new love in my life and her name is Evie. My new niece was born on Sunday morning and she is absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I wont be able to see her for another three weeks!!! ARGH!!!! Well for now my sister has tortured me with only three pictures. so here they are.






~JK

EVIE!!!!!!!

Storm Chasing!!!

I am now an official tornado chaser. As I was on my way to Snyder to pick up my cousin Tyler, I was following this storm. On the horizon I watched as funnel clouds made their way to the ground and then back up into the clouds. To my dismay, the storm seemed to settle right about where I was meeting my grandma to pick up Tyler. Did I mention I hate tornado's. They terrify me. You can ask Krista, I am the biggest weenie. One time she came home from work and I was in the bath tub covered with blankets because the city alarm was going off. I made the mistake of sharing this with my punk cousin and he had no sympathy for me. Can you believe it? Luckily on the way back to Abilene, the tornados were on our backside and we had nothing to worry about. Now we are safe and sound back in Abilene at my house with a storm shelter, battery powered radio, candles, flashlights, bottles water and granola bars. Tornados ought to fear this overprepared, doppler watching.....sissy.

~JK

Storm Chasing!!!

Ahhh...Saturdays

Ahhh......Saturday's. There are two things Saturday's were made for. Garage-sailing and house projects. Unfortunately I was only able to do one of these today. I had several house projects to do today but on all of my three trips to Home Depot today (yeah...three....it was a good day) I saw the signs everywhere for garage sales, estate sales, yard sales. It was almost too much to bear. I had to pass up the garage sales because any man on a mission to Home Depot has one thing on his mind...his project. I happened to have this on my mind on all three trips.

For the last two days there's been this smell coming from our laundry room and since it has been several months since my dog chewed up the dryer vent hood, I was convinced that a critter had crawled into the dryer and Krista had fried it the last time she did a load of laundry. My task was to replace the formerly plastic vent hood with a metal one that would prove indestrctible to my canines. After installing the new, metal vent hood, I had to fill the gaps with "great stuff." Its this expandable foam which doubles in size after you squirt it into the gaps. The only problem is, as I found out after the fact, you arent supposed to get it on your hands. (I am amazed I can type with the burning sensation in my fingers.
I over squirted the not-so-great-stuff and could not reinstal the dryer vent hose until the foam dried. So while it was drying I decided to paint the trim in the laundry room. It was painted this peach/pinkish color which interior design type people might call "salmon." (I was told that peach and pink are no longer colors and that all colors are now named after fish and berries)

After the paint had dried (the new color is denim- not blue, denim) the foam was also ready to be cleaned up so my next task was to crawl back behind the dryer to reinstall the vent hose. Let it be known that I now hate dryer vent hoses. First, the space behind the dryer is only beg enough for a kindergartner, I am about the size of six kindergartners. Second, I take up a bigger space than the dryer vent hose allowed for me to attach it to both the wall and the dryer at the same time. Third, the dryer has an overhang making it impossible to see the place to attach the hose so you have to screw the pipe clamp on without seeing it. Fourth, once you actually attach the dryer vent hose to the wall and the dryer you have to inch the dryer closer to the wall thus making less space for the man pinned between the wall and the dryer. Fifth, there's an immovable shelf above the man pinned between the wall and the dryer. Don't you wish you could have watched me trying to get out from behind the dryer. At one point I had my feet against the wall behind the dryer and my hands on floor in front of the dryer...figure that one out. But I got it done, the dryer vent hose is venting. The denim colored trim looks great. My dogs have one less part of my house to chew on. This is what Saturday's are made for but next week I think I will go garage-sailing.

~JK

Ahhh...Saturdays

"Druggie" Past - "In Recovery" Future

I had to go and observe family court proceedings for a class I had back in May. We had to observe two hours of family court. The two hours I was there we observed three different cases. The longest one, taking up about an hour and forty five minutes, involved a 10 month old girl who was currently living with the parents of her mom. Her mom had been incarcerated for drugs and her father is in recovery for drugs and alcohol. They were in court because the father, who claims to be 3 years clean, wanted custody of his daughter until the final ruling on who was to have custody.

As I listened to the arguments against the father, I began to realize that no matter how hard he tried, there were people that were not going to let him move beyond his past. Despite his efforts to do what everyone wanted of him, since he had a history with drugs and alcohol, he was no good. His references, most of which were also friends in recovery, were also discredited since they had at one time abused drugs. I got the impression that once you had these iniquities against you, there was no hope. No matter what this man did from here on out, he had a label tatooed on his forehead that said,"DRUGGIE." Even if there was one of those red circles with the line through it over the top which says, "IN RECOVERY." This man may still have things he needs to work out but the argmuments against him seemed to make it clear that despite his efforts to be freed from drugs and alcohol, he would remain a slave to it forever.

I don't know if this man was a Christian or not but I think that as a Christian, I am called to listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5, "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." As a minister of reconciliation we see the potential of the person, not the past. We see the hope of a man, not his history.

~JK

"Druggie" Past - "In Recovery" Future

If God Were Proved

I just finished reading a book, A Corner of the Veil, by Laurence Cosse. The premise of the book is that a priest receives in the mail undeniable proof that God exists. Anyone who reads this document cannot refute the fact that God exists. The rest of the story details the implications this would have on the world. It is a fictional story, obviously, yet it presents some interesting perspectives on what would happen to politics, economics, the church, world religions if the world received irrefutable proof that the God of the Christians existed.

What would the world really be like if there was absolute certainty that God existed? Would such proof make the world better or worse? What would happen to faith and belief if everyone read a document which proved that God existed. Would it be ok for there to be no faith if everyone knew that there was a God and couldn't deny it? Would it really change people? It seems as if in the old testament people knew that God existed and yet they still acted as if he didn't. In fact, I recall that God actually came down to earth and most people didn't even care, instead they hung him on a cross.

Maybe its just me but I feel somewhat safe knowing that God cannot be verified by any act of man! I think the moment we think we have god figured out the moment we will be zapped into crispy critters. A lot of people are uncomfortable with doubt and feel that doubt is the opposite of faith. Instead of thinking about my not-knowing as doubt, I prefer to think of it as wonder. I wonder a lot of things about God. Sometimes I even wonder if he exists, its this wonder which makes him so grandiose. Its the wonder which causes me to marvel at the fact that he has revealed himself. When the things of God I wonder about are revealed my wonder turns into amazement. If God were proved, where would the amazement be?

~JK

If God Were Proved

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Hey Dad!! I thought it might be fun to dedicate a post to you! Here it is, a pictoral memorial to the days of your life. A life filled with good times and exciting hair-dos. A life filled with memorable events and thrilling hair-donts. I hope your birthday was as great as all the Mullet jokes you've heard throughout the years!


Now I know where I get my good looks! Sorry, my mom is not pictured for you to see where from!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Dad telling Scott, my brother in law, that he needs to grow a mullet before he can marry my sister!

Another picture of Dad with the Mullet....he's the one with the sunglasses!

Just seven years ago, Dad was the Mullet King, but noone could pull it off like him!

Here is our family ten years ago. thats me with the hair that looks like a brown mixing bowl. These were the pre-mullet days for Dad!

All joking aside, Dad, you're the greatest. I am praying for you and what happens in the future. You have had the greatest impact on my life as a spiritual giant. I know the best is yet to come!

~JK

Led by the Spirit...To be tempted!

This morning's Bible reading was from Matthew 3-4. It says that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted. It doesnt make sense that the Spirit's intention in leading him into the desert would be so that Jesus would be tempted but that is what it says. It really makes me think about the purpose of temptation and why I have it in my life. Is temptation something that I should be asking God to rid my life of? What if the Spirit is the one that put it there like He did with Jesus. I think too often we only think of the Spirit as giving us good things but what do we do when he gives us something we don't want?

~JK

Led by the Spirit...To be tempted!

Who Is This Who Even Forgives Sins?

I preached this sermon this morning out at Cottonwood.

Luke 7:36-50
36 Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 

This Pharisee invites Jesus to have dinner with him- Why do you suppose he would do something like that? It seems like kind of a weird thing for a Pharisee to do. Jesus accepted the invitation, went to his house and reclined at the Table.
It seems like Pharisees get a bad rap. There are all these negative feelings associated with Pharisees. In reality, they are just doing what all the rest of us are. They are just trying to practice their religion the best way they know how. So what if they consider themselves to be more pious than everyone else. They can't be all that bad or Jesus wouldn’t want to eat with them, right?

37 When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume,

You kind of get the impression that there were a lot of people at this party because for this woman to simply hear about the party and show up and get to the very feet of Jesus without being noticed is pretty impressive.
So here in these first two verses, the stage is set. We have the principle actors in this morning’s drama and the show we are going to see is entitled, "Who Will Win Over the Heart of Jesus". As we sit and watch the story we want to know how Jesus is going to respond to this awkward situation.
Back to the question of why the Pharisee invited Jesus there to begin with. When we hear the word Pharisee, we automatically think about all the horrible things that the Pharisee’s did to try and trap Jesus. They lay bait in front of him hoping for him to take a bite into it and fall into their trap. We don’t get that impression in this situation. Every indication from the passage tells us that we have one pious teacher of the law inviting another pious teacher of the law over for dinner to chat it up. No mal-intentions at all.
But then there’s this woman. This is no doubt an awkward situation for everyone present. Imagine you are at a party. It’s a large party and people are coming and going, so the fact that there are uninvited guest running around is not really important to you. What gets weird is when one of the uninvited guests falls at the feet of an invited guest.

38 and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

Its so strange isn’t it? Why would a person do such a thing? Doesn’t she know that such an act would cause people to look at her weird? Doesn’t she know that she is at a Pharisee’s house? She must not know the Pharisees reputations or she would not put herself on the line like this. Doesn’t she also know that Jesus' feet are probably dirty? Wearing sandals all day and walking around on roads thousands of years before concrete and pavement doesn’t make for a pretty sight. Doesn’t she know that if she wipes his dirty feet with her hair that people will look at her even more strange? Doesn’t she know how much the perfume she is just drenching all over his dirty feet is worth? People are already speculating as to how she got the money, now they are no doubt judging her in other ways as well. This awkward situation just turns from weird to more weird. Things just get more uncomfortable as this sinner continues. Heads are turning, people are leaving, gossips are talking and the mood just goes downhill…all because of this woman.

39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”

Finally, our pure intentioned host steps in and relieves the tension. He does just what everyone was hoping someone would do and says something to Jesus. Now people may think from this that Simon was trying to trap Jesus. I don’t think he was. I think that our past readings of the Bible and most every sermon we have heard in the past has painted a grim picture for every Pharisee. I think in a situation like this everyone would feel a little awkward. The Pharisee was just saying what everyone else was thinking. Wasn’t he? Everyone was just waiting for him to put an end to this sinful woman’s act. He was only acting in the best interest of his party. Yet he did not want to insult his honored guest so he put the ball in Jesus’ court. It is now up to Jesus to do something about the impurity which has created so much tension for the Pharisee and all his guests.

40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

The peculiar thing is that Jesus doesn’t say anything to the woman. He just speaks right to Simon.

“Tell me, teacher,” he said.

And then in Jesus’ typical fashion he uses a story to say something about the situation. He uses an example the emphasize the point. As this woman, who has lived a life full of sin sits at his feet weeping and Simon wonders what is going to be done about “this problem” Jesus tells them this parable.

41 “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

I am sure everyone listening to the story was wondering just what does that have to do with anything at all. They may have been thinking, we’ve got this serious problem on our hands and you are talking about moneylenders and debts. But Simon, being a gracious host, puts his concerns temporarily aside and answers Jesus question.

43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.”

Simon knows the absurdity of the moneylender's decision. To totally cancel a debt worth more than a year’s worth of wages is something no one would ever expect. For that matter no one would expect to have a debt worth more than a months wages cancelled. Yet Simon is not stupid, he knows that the one with the greater debt has more to be thankful for.

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

With these words, “You have judged correctly” Jesus simply means, you’ve got it, you’ve guessed the right answer. Yet perhaps these words mean something more. Perhaps Jesus chose these words, “You have judged correctly” specifically because it is the first time in the entire evening that any sort of correct judging has been done at all. From the time this woman came into his house, people were judging her incorrectly. And now Jesus had to create a story in which the answer was so obvious, it would be impossible for Simon to judge incorrectly.

44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”

Not quite what Simon was expecting to hear, Huh? He wanted Jesus to fix the problem and instead, he gets a lecture on being a good host. He expected for Jesus to sympathize with his problem of having a sinner in his house and instead, Jesus says that Simon could learn something from this woman. He was thinking that he was so much better than this woman yet, Jesus says she has more love than him.

48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Who is this who even forgives sins?


Who is this who even forgives sins?

I think that in the midst of Jesus putting the smack down on Simon, we miss something that he is trying to say about his own forgiveness.
From the moment that the woman entered his house to the moment she fell at his feet and cracked open the perfume bottle, everyone was comparing themselves to her. Here a woman easily identified as sinner willingly allows herself to enter an arena where her faithfulness will be compared to the piety of a Pharisee. This woman didn’t stand a chance against Simon.

Yet there’s one thing that we always seem to miss about Jesus parable about the moneylender. The moneylender saw both the debts of the men and cancelled both the debts of the men. The money lender didn’t play the comparison game and as far as Jesus was concerned, it could have been Simon with the bigger debt. It doesn’t matter to him.

Have you ever met someone who didn’t think their conversion was as good because they hadn’t done as many bad things as someone else? I remember in college, they had this week in chapel where they would get people to come up and speak about all these life difficulties they had overcome.
This one guy got up and talked about how he had a drug addiction that was costing him over $10,000 a month. One day he just decided to quit and so he did and became a Christian.
Another guy talked about how he had been to prison and had done all these horrible things but had come full circle and was now a minister at a church of Christ and everything was better.
I think we hear stories like that of people who have done such horrible awful things and we look at our own stories of coming to the feel of Jesus and we just don’t feel like they can compare. We think that since we didn’t have a huge dramatic conversion where we stopped the drugs and drinking and sleeping around that our encounter with Jesus wasn't as meaningful.

The thing we forget is that Jesus, the moneylender, cancelled both debts. When Jesus looks at us, his heart does not see one person with a greater debt than another person. Instead the heart of Jesus sees two people who need him.
The heart of Jesus sees two people who have both at one time or another been separated from him.
The heart of Jesus sees two people whose debts he wants to cancel.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to cancel the debt of the man owing 500 denarii as the one owing 50.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing for Simon to invite him into his home as he is for the sinful woman to sit at his feet.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to offer himself on the cross for those who don’t know him as he is for those who do.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to die for those who are ok with all this as he is for those who aren’t.

This has always been kind of a struggle for me.
Jesus was just as willing to die for Osama Bin Laden as he was for me. Let me rephrase that. Jesus was no more glad to die for me than he was for Osama Bin Laden. His love is equal.
I think that in our churches we have come to a point where this message might be too challenging to hear. Because if we are to hear this message and, like Simon the Pharisee, to “judge correctly” than it wouldn’t bother us to sit on the pew next to a murderer. If we were to “judge correctly,” it wont bother us to have a meal with someone who has deeply hurt us. If we are going to look at our lives as people whose debts are no greater or no less than anyone else’s it wont be a problem to share a songbook with people who disagree with us.

The heart of Jesus is one who forgives sins.

Who Is This Who Even Forgives Sins?

Sailing!

Last weekend we got to go to Austin for our 3rd anniversary. Krista's grandparents have friends with a Sailboat. We spent the day on Lake Travis and I got hooked on sailing! Now I just have to convince Krista to let me buy a boat. Here are some of the pictures of our trip.

Me, an up and coming sailboat captain!


Here are our fearless leaders, Gary and Tommy Jean!


Krista and Tommy Jean enjoying the sun!


This is me tacking!


Too much fun for Krista!


Another picture of us! Isn't she cute?

Sailing!

And He Shall Be Called...

I have decided to read through the gospels this summer. I will read about two chapters a day. Today I read Matthew 1-2. Something that stood out to me in these two chapters was the importance that Matthew placed on names. It doesnt take long listening to sermons to hear a preacher speak about the significance of certain names included in the geneology here which dont belong in the ancestry of a savior of the world. Names like Tamar and the wife of Uriah only evoke memories calling us back to negative times in Israel's history. I think that is why it stood out to me so much that in these two short chapters, Jesus is called so many different things. The angel tells Mary to name him "Jesus"- the Lord Saves; Jesus is the Savior of the world. The angel of the Lord calls Jesus, "Immanuel"- God with us; Jesus is God in the flesh. The Magi call him "King of the Jews"- Jesus is Lord of all, sovreign. Herod even ironically calls him "Christ"- Annointed One; Jesus is the one appointed and set apart to rule the earth. The chief priests and teachers of the law refer to him as the "Shepherd of Israel"- he will lead his people like sheep are led. Again the angel of the Lord speaks and calls Jesus "God's son," saying, "Out of Egypt, I called my son." Jesus is the very son of God. Matthew finally calls him a "Nazarene"- he is human, living among the people, recognizable and mortal. It is so interesting to me the importance that Matthew places on the names that Christ bears in these first to chapters. The significance of these names is important, just as the significance of the name we bear as Christians is also important.

~JK

And He Shall Be Called...

Burned Houses and Burned Humility

There's a woman out at Cottonwood whose house burned down for the second time not too long ago. This past Sunday the church and community held a shower for her to fill the trailer someone had donated and replace all the things she had lost in the fire. Krista told me that when she was talking to this woman, aside from being incredibly grateful for all the help eveyone had been, she felt that she had all she needed. This woman has literally no posessions to her name, yet she was able to say that she has all she needs.
This made me think about how we often look at other people's lives and think about how awful their lives must be since they dont have all the "things" that make life wonderful for us. It is really easy to say that, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances," when the circumstances have been in our favor. I am not sure I could say I have everything I needed if I were living on the streets or if a lack of rain was all that kept me from eating. There is some sort of illusion I am living in, in which I think that my life is secure. We often think that as Christians, we are untouchable. Is this true? Perhaps I just dont want to be humbled. It is fine if I am the one humbling myself but for God to do it...

Burned Houses and Burned Humility