Grace, Love and Knowledge

"For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers, if we live without grace and the love of God?" -Thomas a Kempis

I guess you could say I am nesting in more than one way. For the last several months, Krista and I have been feverishly trying to get the house ready for Miriam. We have been painting, gathering baby furniture, etc. I have also found a new interest in parenting material. I have been reading through several different articles and books on parenting. I scan the pages of What to Expect When You are Expecting hoping to glean information that will prepare me for being a parent. I have no doubt that all this information is good, yet I am continuously reminded that I will understand everything better once I am actually a parent.

I have heard relentlessly the phrase, "You will understand when your baby comes." I do not resent this but rather it reminds me that nothing adequately prepares you for being a parent other than being a parent. I find myself trying not to rely too heavily on the books I read or the tidbits of information others share with me rather the moments experienced between Krista, Miriam and I.

I consider these moments of God's grace and love. He shows me grace by giving me moments of learning as Krista and I discuss bringing Miriam home from the hospital. I feel graced when I see Krista holding her tummy as Miriam kicks her little feet inside. I experience His love when I realize I do not have to wait for delivery to know these things. The "principles of philosophers," and stories of faith in the Bible I read are definitely helpful insights but it is through these moments of grace and love when I feel the most knowledge.

~JK

Grace, Love and Knowledge

Why do I want to be a parent?

I have finished my classes, taken the national marriage and family therapy exam and am just a few weeks away from completing my hour requirments for graduation. My mind has begun to wander to other matters on the horizon. For those who read this blog and do not talk to me in person, Krista and I found out abotu a month ago that we are having a little . Miriam Grace Kellar is growing nicely inside my wife's womb and the nursery is coming together. My thoughts seem to be more and more occupied with the birth of my child and how I am going to support her. Thoughts about how I plan to parent and how things will be different seem to pervade my silent time. I decided to buy a parenting book by an author who spoke at ACU recently. Here are some reflections as I have just finished the first chapter.

Why do I want to be a parent? This question drove the insights of the first chapter and called into question my intentions for bringing another child into this world. Do I want to be a parent because I think I will be good at it? Many people have told me that I will be a good father. I am flattered by this but I am not convinced that this is the reason. I have often found myself feeling like parenting is simply the next step in the formation of my family. Krista and I have been married for just over four years, why shouldnt we have a child. Despite the fact that Krista and I made a decision we were ready to have kids, this decision was not based on either of these. We both wanted children. We have always known that. We had names picked out before we were even married. I think we had both just assumed we would but did not perhaps really investigate why.

In his book, Sacred Parenting, Gary Thomas proposes that the reason we have kids is not for the children's sake. He says there is something about being a parent that changes us. In our effort to raise spiritual children, we have to be spiritual. Our relationship with God is transformed as we live out our desire to raise children in the image of his Son. He writes,

"We live in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit up on themselves or on us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle us and kiss us and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways."

In the good and the bad they mold, shape and invite us to experience God. I want this to be why I parent. There is something that is already happening to me as I look on the growing belly of my wife. I know there is a child of God inside that I have so much to learn from.

~JK

Why do I want to be a parent?