Separation Anxiety

Vulnerability...

I can think of no other reason why we hurt so much when friends move away. Why we miss our spouses when they are gone on trips. Why when those we care about so deeply are away from us.

Vulnerability...

I wonder why when we make friends, we don't evaluate what the outcome of our friendship with them will truly be. Would people still become friends with others if they knew that there would be times when they might be separated? No doubt we all know that in starting a friendship with someone (especially in college) that it will not be long before they move back home to where they first came from or to Paducah or Austin, or Memphis where they have found jobs. Yet for some reason, we always open ourselves up. We take the chance. We say, I am going to expose myself to whatever may happen in being in relationship with these wonderful people.

Vulnerability...

I heard a friend once say that, "The level of our hurt is equal to the level of our love." Perhaps this is why every relationship that has ever existed has presented this dichotomy where in order to pursue friendship, bond, companionship, and union there must be sacrifice. We must make ourselves vulnerable to what may happen when that bond is somehow broken. I think without this vulnerability our relationships would be flat, empty and meaningless. Fortunately, the broken bond often only means a distance of a thousand miles or so.

Lately many of my friends have moved or are going to be moving away. They will be starting jobs as Therapists, Ministers, Actors, and Physicists. For some reason, Abilene is not the place where all those dreams can come true. I have also felt this separation anxiety in that recently Krista spent a week in Mexico. While she was gone, there was an incessant battery of questions regarding where she was at. It seemed as if each one was another reminder of the fact that she was not with me and an even more vivid reminder of the vulnerability which we gladly and willingly bear for the sake of love and friendship.

As my friends leave for their new jobs, the feelings I have are bitter sweet. I am excited to see how God is blessing them in their lives and how they are gaining exciting experiences, but at the same time, I am experiencing the pains of separation anxiety. Selfishly, I do not want any of them to leave. Had I known I would have been feeling all these things when I first met them...I am sure I would not have done anything different. I know the relationship I have with them is due to the fact that I didn't hold anything back. I wish all my friends the best as they pursue their careers and bless the Kingdom of God.

~JK

Separation Anxiety

EVIE!!!!!!!

Okay, its official, I'm smitten. I have a new love in my life and her name is Evie. My new niece was born on Sunday morning and she is absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I wont be able to see her for another three weeks!!! ARGH!!!! Well for now my sister has tortured me with only three pictures. so here they are.






~JK

EVIE!!!!!!!

Storm Chasing!!!

I am now an official tornado chaser. As I was on my way to Snyder to pick up my cousin Tyler, I was following this storm. On the horizon I watched as funnel clouds made their way to the ground and then back up into the clouds. To my dismay, the storm seemed to settle right about where I was meeting my grandma to pick up Tyler. Did I mention I hate tornado's. They terrify me. You can ask Krista, I am the biggest weenie. One time she came home from work and I was in the bath tub covered with blankets because the city alarm was going off. I made the mistake of sharing this with my punk cousin and he had no sympathy for me. Can you believe it? Luckily on the way back to Abilene, the tornados were on our backside and we had nothing to worry about. Now we are safe and sound back in Abilene at my house with a storm shelter, battery powered radio, candles, flashlights, bottles water and granola bars. Tornados ought to fear this overprepared, doppler watching.....sissy.

~JK

Storm Chasing!!!

Ahhh...Saturdays

Ahhh......Saturday's. There are two things Saturday's were made for. Garage-sailing and house projects. Unfortunately I was only able to do one of these today. I had several house projects to do today but on all of my three trips to Home Depot today (yeah...three....it was a good day) I saw the signs everywhere for garage sales, estate sales, yard sales. It was almost too much to bear. I had to pass up the garage sales because any man on a mission to Home Depot has one thing on his mind...his project. I happened to have this on my mind on all three trips.

For the last two days there's been this smell coming from our laundry room and since it has been several months since my dog chewed up the dryer vent hood, I was convinced that a critter had crawled into the dryer and Krista had fried it the last time she did a load of laundry. My task was to replace the formerly plastic vent hood with a metal one that would prove indestrctible to my canines. After installing the new, metal vent hood, I had to fill the gaps with "great stuff." Its this expandable foam which doubles in size after you squirt it into the gaps. The only problem is, as I found out after the fact, you arent supposed to get it on your hands. (I am amazed I can type with the burning sensation in my fingers.
I over squirted the not-so-great-stuff and could not reinstal the dryer vent hose until the foam dried. So while it was drying I decided to paint the trim in the laundry room. It was painted this peach/pinkish color which interior design type people might call "salmon." (I was told that peach and pink are no longer colors and that all colors are now named after fish and berries)

After the paint had dried (the new color is denim- not blue, denim) the foam was also ready to be cleaned up so my next task was to crawl back behind the dryer to reinstall the vent hose. Let it be known that I now hate dryer vent hoses. First, the space behind the dryer is only beg enough for a kindergartner, I am about the size of six kindergartners. Second, I take up a bigger space than the dryer vent hose allowed for me to attach it to both the wall and the dryer at the same time. Third, the dryer has an overhang making it impossible to see the place to attach the hose so you have to screw the pipe clamp on without seeing it. Fourth, once you actually attach the dryer vent hose to the wall and the dryer you have to inch the dryer closer to the wall thus making less space for the man pinned between the wall and the dryer. Fifth, there's an immovable shelf above the man pinned between the wall and the dryer. Don't you wish you could have watched me trying to get out from behind the dryer. At one point I had my feet against the wall behind the dryer and my hands on floor in front of the dryer...figure that one out. But I got it done, the dryer vent hose is venting. The denim colored trim looks great. My dogs have one less part of my house to chew on. This is what Saturday's are made for but next week I think I will go garage-sailing.

~JK

Ahhh...Saturdays

"Druggie" Past - "In Recovery" Future

I had to go and observe family court proceedings for a class I had back in May. We had to observe two hours of family court. The two hours I was there we observed three different cases. The longest one, taking up about an hour and forty five minutes, involved a 10 month old girl who was currently living with the parents of her mom. Her mom had been incarcerated for drugs and her father is in recovery for drugs and alcohol. They were in court because the father, who claims to be 3 years clean, wanted custody of his daughter until the final ruling on who was to have custody.

As I listened to the arguments against the father, I began to realize that no matter how hard he tried, there were people that were not going to let him move beyond his past. Despite his efforts to do what everyone wanted of him, since he had a history with drugs and alcohol, he was no good. His references, most of which were also friends in recovery, were also discredited since they had at one time abused drugs. I got the impression that once you had these iniquities against you, there was no hope. No matter what this man did from here on out, he had a label tatooed on his forehead that said,"DRUGGIE." Even if there was one of those red circles with the line through it over the top which says, "IN RECOVERY." This man may still have things he needs to work out but the argmuments against him seemed to make it clear that despite his efforts to be freed from drugs and alcohol, he would remain a slave to it forever.

I don't know if this man was a Christian or not but I think that as a Christian, I am called to listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5, "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." As a minister of reconciliation we see the potential of the person, not the past. We see the hope of a man, not his history.

~JK

"Druggie" Past - "In Recovery" Future

If God Were Proved

I just finished reading a book, A Corner of the Veil, by Laurence Cosse. The premise of the book is that a priest receives in the mail undeniable proof that God exists. Anyone who reads this document cannot refute the fact that God exists. The rest of the story details the implications this would have on the world. It is a fictional story, obviously, yet it presents some interesting perspectives on what would happen to politics, economics, the church, world religions if the world received irrefutable proof that the God of the Christians existed.

What would the world really be like if there was absolute certainty that God existed? Would such proof make the world better or worse? What would happen to faith and belief if everyone read a document which proved that God existed. Would it be ok for there to be no faith if everyone knew that there was a God and couldn't deny it? Would it really change people? It seems as if in the old testament people knew that God existed and yet they still acted as if he didn't. In fact, I recall that God actually came down to earth and most people didn't even care, instead they hung him on a cross.

Maybe its just me but I feel somewhat safe knowing that God cannot be verified by any act of man! I think the moment we think we have god figured out the moment we will be zapped into crispy critters. A lot of people are uncomfortable with doubt and feel that doubt is the opposite of faith. Instead of thinking about my not-knowing as doubt, I prefer to think of it as wonder. I wonder a lot of things about God. Sometimes I even wonder if he exists, its this wonder which makes him so grandiose. Its the wonder which causes me to marvel at the fact that he has revealed himself. When the things of God I wonder about are revealed my wonder turns into amazement. If God were proved, where would the amazement be?

~JK

If God Were Proved

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Hey Dad!! I thought it might be fun to dedicate a post to you! Here it is, a pictoral memorial to the days of your life. A life filled with good times and exciting hair-dos. A life filled with memorable events and thrilling hair-donts. I hope your birthday was as great as all the Mullet jokes you've heard throughout the years!


Now I know where I get my good looks! Sorry, my mom is not pictured for you to see where from!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Dad telling Scott, my brother in law, that he needs to grow a mullet before he can marry my sister!

Another picture of Dad with the Mullet....he's the one with the sunglasses!

Just seven years ago, Dad was the Mullet King, but noone could pull it off like him!

Here is our family ten years ago. thats me with the hair that looks like a brown mixing bowl. These were the pre-mullet days for Dad!

All joking aside, Dad, you're the greatest. I am praying for you and what happens in the future. You have had the greatest impact on my life as a spiritual giant. I know the best is yet to come!

~JK

Led by the Spirit...To be tempted!

This morning's Bible reading was from Matthew 3-4. It says that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted. It doesnt make sense that the Spirit's intention in leading him into the desert would be so that Jesus would be tempted but that is what it says. It really makes me think about the purpose of temptation and why I have it in my life. Is temptation something that I should be asking God to rid my life of? What if the Spirit is the one that put it there like He did with Jesus. I think too often we only think of the Spirit as giving us good things but what do we do when he gives us something we don't want?

~JK

Led by the Spirit...To be tempted!

Who Is This Who Even Forgives Sins?

I preached this sermon this morning out at Cottonwood.

Luke 7:36-50
36 Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 

This Pharisee invites Jesus to have dinner with him- Why do you suppose he would do something like that? It seems like kind of a weird thing for a Pharisee to do. Jesus accepted the invitation, went to his house and reclined at the Table.
It seems like Pharisees get a bad rap. There are all these negative feelings associated with Pharisees. In reality, they are just doing what all the rest of us are. They are just trying to practice their religion the best way they know how. So what if they consider themselves to be more pious than everyone else. They can't be all that bad or Jesus wouldn’t want to eat with them, right?

37 When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume,

You kind of get the impression that there were a lot of people at this party because for this woman to simply hear about the party and show up and get to the very feet of Jesus without being noticed is pretty impressive.
So here in these first two verses, the stage is set. We have the principle actors in this morning’s drama and the show we are going to see is entitled, "Who Will Win Over the Heart of Jesus". As we sit and watch the story we want to know how Jesus is going to respond to this awkward situation.
Back to the question of why the Pharisee invited Jesus there to begin with. When we hear the word Pharisee, we automatically think about all the horrible things that the Pharisee’s did to try and trap Jesus. They lay bait in front of him hoping for him to take a bite into it and fall into their trap. We don’t get that impression in this situation. Every indication from the passage tells us that we have one pious teacher of the law inviting another pious teacher of the law over for dinner to chat it up. No mal-intentions at all.
But then there’s this woman. This is no doubt an awkward situation for everyone present. Imagine you are at a party. It’s a large party and people are coming and going, so the fact that there are uninvited guest running around is not really important to you. What gets weird is when one of the uninvited guests falls at the feet of an invited guest.

38 and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

Its so strange isn’t it? Why would a person do such a thing? Doesn’t she know that such an act would cause people to look at her weird? Doesn’t she know that she is at a Pharisee’s house? She must not know the Pharisees reputations or she would not put herself on the line like this. Doesn’t she also know that Jesus' feet are probably dirty? Wearing sandals all day and walking around on roads thousands of years before concrete and pavement doesn’t make for a pretty sight. Doesn’t she know that if she wipes his dirty feet with her hair that people will look at her even more strange? Doesn’t she know how much the perfume she is just drenching all over his dirty feet is worth? People are already speculating as to how she got the money, now they are no doubt judging her in other ways as well. This awkward situation just turns from weird to more weird. Things just get more uncomfortable as this sinner continues. Heads are turning, people are leaving, gossips are talking and the mood just goes downhill…all because of this woman.

39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”

Finally, our pure intentioned host steps in and relieves the tension. He does just what everyone was hoping someone would do and says something to Jesus. Now people may think from this that Simon was trying to trap Jesus. I don’t think he was. I think that our past readings of the Bible and most every sermon we have heard in the past has painted a grim picture for every Pharisee. I think in a situation like this everyone would feel a little awkward. The Pharisee was just saying what everyone else was thinking. Wasn’t he? Everyone was just waiting for him to put an end to this sinful woman’s act. He was only acting in the best interest of his party. Yet he did not want to insult his honored guest so he put the ball in Jesus’ court. It is now up to Jesus to do something about the impurity which has created so much tension for the Pharisee and all his guests.

40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

The peculiar thing is that Jesus doesn’t say anything to the woman. He just speaks right to Simon.

“Tell me, teacher,” he said.

And then in Jesus’ typical fashion he uses a story to say something about the situation. He uses an example the emphasize the point. As this woman, who has lived a life full of sin sits at his feet weeping and Simon wonders what is going to be done about “this problem” Jesus tells them this parable.

41 “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

I am sure everyone listening to the story was wondering just what does that have to do with anything at all. They may have been thinking, we’ve got this serious problem on our hands and you are talking about moneylenders and debts. But Simon, being a gracious host, puts his concerns temporarily aside and answers Jesus question.

43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.”

Simon knows the absurdity of the moneylender's decision. To totally cancel a debt worth more than a year’s worth of wages is something no one would ever expect. For that matter no one would expect to have a debt worth more than a months wages cancelled. Yet Simon is not stupid, he knows that the one with the greater debt has more to be thankful for.

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

With these words, “You have judged correctly” Jesus simply means, you’ve got it, you’ve guessed the right answer. Yet perhaps these words mean something more. Perhaps Jesus chose these words, “You have judged correctly” specifically because it is the first time in the entire evening that any sort of correct judging has been done at all. From the time this woman came into his house, people were judging her incorrectly. And now Jesus had to create a story in which the answer was so obvious, it would be impossible for Simon to judge incorrectly.

44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”

Not quite what Simon was expecting to hear, Huh? He wanted Jesus to fix the problem and instead, he gets a lecture on being a good host. He expected for Jesus to sympathize with his problem of having a sinner in his house and instead, Jesus says that Simon could learn something from this woman. He was thinking that he was so much better than this woman yet, Jesus says she has more love than him.

48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Who is this who even forgives sins?


Who is this who even forgives sins?

I think that in the midst of Jesus putting the smack down on Simon, we miss something that he is trying to say about his own forgiveness.
From the moment that the woman entered his house to the moment she fell at his feet and cracked open the perfume bottle, everyone was comparing themselves to her. Here a woman easily identified as sinner willingly allows herself to enter an arena where her faithfulness will be compared to the piety of a Pharisee. This woman didn’t stand a chance against Simon.

Yet there’s one thing that we always seem to miss about Jesus parable about the moneylender. The moneylender saw both the debts of the men and cancelled both the debts of the men. The money lender didn’t play the comparison game and as far as Jesus was concerned, it could have been Simon with the bigger debt. It doesn’t matter to him.

Have you ever met someone who didn’t think their conversion was as good because they hadn’t done as many bad things as someone else? I remember in college, they had this week in chapel where they would get people to come up and speak about all these life difficulties they had overcome.
This one guy got up and talked about how he had a drug addiction that was costing him over $10,000 a month. One day he just decided to quit and so he did and became a Christian.
Another guy talked about how he had been to prison and had done all these horrible things but had come full circle and was now a minister at a church of Christ and everything was better.
I think we hear stories like that of people who have done such horrible awful things and we look at our own stories of coming to the feel of Jesus and we just don’t feel like they can compare. We think that since we didn’t have a huge dramatic conversion where we stopped the drugs and drinking and sleeping around that our encounter with Jesus wasn't as meaningful.

The thing we forget is that Jesus, the moneylender, cancelled both debts. When Jesus looks at us, his heart does not see one person with a greater debt than another person. Instead the heart of Jesus sees two people who need him.
The heart of Jesus sees two people who have both at one time or another been separated from him.
The heart of Jesus sees two people whose debts he wants to cancel.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to cancel the debt of the man owing 500 denarii as the one owing 50.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing for Simon to invite him into his home as he is for the sinful woman to sit at his feet.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to offer himself on the cross for those who don’t know him as he is for those who do.
The heart of Jesus is just as willing to die for those who are ok with all this as he is for those who aren’t.

This has always been kind of a struggle for me.
Jesus was just as willing to die for Osama Bin Laden as he was for me. Let me rephrase that. Jesus was no more glad to die for me than he was for Osama Bin Laden. His love is equal.
I think that in our churches we have come to a point where this message might be too challenging to hear. Because if we are to hear this message and, like Simon the Pharisee, to “judge correctly” than it wouldn’t bother us to sit on the pew next to a murderer. If we were to “judge correctly,” it wont bother us to have a meal with someone who has deeply hurt us. If we are going to look at our lives as people whose debts are no greater or no less than anyone else’s it wont be a problem to share a songbook with people who disagree with us.

The heart of Jesus is one who forgives sins.

Who Is This Who Even Forgives Sins?

Sailing!

Last weekend we got to go to Austin for our 3rd anniversary. Krista's grandparents have friends with a Sailboat. We spent the day on Lake Travis and I got hooked on sailing! Now I just have to convince Krista to let me buy a boat. Here are some of the pictures of our trip.

Me, an up and coming sailboat captain!


Here are our fearless leaders, Gary and Tommy Jean!


Krista and Tommy Jean enjoying the sun!


This is me tacking!


Too much fun for Krista!


Another picture of us! Isn't she cute?

Sailing!

And He Shall Be Called...

I have decided to read through the gospels this summer. I will read about two chapters a day. Today I read Matthew 1-2. Something that stood out to me in these two chapters was the importance that Matthew placed on names. It doesnt take long listening to sermons to hear a preacher speak about the significance of certain names included in the geneology here which dont belong in the ancestry of a savior of the world. Names like Tamar and the wife of Uriah only evoke memories calling us back to negative times in Israel's history. I think that is why it stood out to me so much that in these two short chapters, Jesus is called so many different things. The angel tells Mary to name him "Jesus"- the Lord Saves; Jesus is the Savior of the world. The angel of the Lord calls Jesus, "Immanuel"- God with us; Jesus is God in the flesh. The Magi call him "King of the Jews"- Jesus is Lord of all, sovreign. Herod even ironically calls him "Christ"- Annointed One; Jesus is the one appointed and set apart to rule the earth. The chief priests and teachers of the law refer to him as the "Shepherd of Israel"- he will lead his people like sheep are led. Again the angel of the Lord speaks and calls Jesus "God's son," saying, "Out of Egypt, I called my son." Jesus is the very son of God. Matthew finally calls him a "Nazarene"- he is human, living among the people, recognizable and mortal. It is so interesting to me the importance that Matthew places on the names that Christ bears in these first to chapters. The significance of these names is important, just as the significance of the name we bear as Christians is also important.

~JK

And He Shall Be Called...

Burned Houses and Burned Humility

There's a woman out at Cottonwood whose house burned down for the second time not too long ago. This past Sunday the church and community held a shower for her to fill the trailer someone had donated and replace all the things she had lost in the fire. Krista told me that when she was talking to this woman, aside from being incredibly grateful for all the help eveyone had been, she felt that she had all she needed. This woman has literally no posessions to her name, yet she was able to say that she has all she needs.
This made me think about how we often look at other people's lives and think about how awful their lives must be since they dont have all the "things" that make life wonderful for us. It is really easy to say that, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances," when the circumstances have been in our favor. I am not sure I could say I have everything I needed if I were living on the streets or if a lack of rain was all that kept me from eating. There is some sort of illusion I am living in, in which I think that my life is secure. We often think that as Christians, we are untouchable. Is this true? Perhaps I just dont want to be humbled. It is fine if I am the one humbling myself but for God to do it...

Burned Houses and Burned Humility

Covenant Renewal

This is the Vow Renewal Ceremony my parents asked me to do. they have been married for 25 years as of Nov. 2nd.

It was rough going up in the Kellar house. Despite all the difficult times we have had, this celebration tonight is a testimony of God’s faithfulness through those tough times and how it is expressed in the marriage of my mom and dad.

When I think of commitment throughout the years of a marriage, I think of a journey on an airplane. When you first get on the airplane, there are all sorts of adjustments you have to make. Sitting down, getting your bags arranged. This is the honeymoon period. Its still hot because they haven’t turned the air on yet for you to cool down.
Next you take off and things get a little more difficult, Your ears start popping and children start crying the honeymoon period has worn off because they’ve turn the air conditioner on. Once you are in the air you go through seasons of rough and calm. Maybe there’s a little turbulence and you have to put your seatbelts on because things are kind of shaky. Then you have the times of calm when the flight attendants are bring you refreshment.
Periodically on your journey to your destination you may have to stop in an airport to refuel and you find yourself beginning the journey all over again. That is what we are celebrating tonight, the completion of one leg of the journey. On that leg, there are seasons of calm and seasons of turbulence. The thing that comforts me most during times of turbulence is not knowing that I have correctly fastened my seatbelt, or that if the oxygen masks fall down from the sealing I have been instructed to put mine on myself before I put one on the child sitting next to me. Its that throughout the whole journey, there is one man in control of the plane and he is ensuring that I will arrive at my destination safely. It comforts me to know that even if things get so rough that I wish I could stop the journey there is one who has made a promise. The one who sits in the cockpit wearing the captain’s hat has entered into a covenant with us.
A covenant is defined simply as a promise. When we enter into a marriage, two covenants are made. One between and husband and wife and a second between the couple and God. We know how serious is about covenants God makes. Philippians 2:5-9 reads:

 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Death is the extent Jesus was willing to make for us, just like the pilot who doesn’t go for his parachute at the first sign of trouble. Paul tells us in Philippians that our attitude should be the same. That we should be willing to die for the covenant we have made.
Paul also tells us in Ephesians 5:21 that we are to submit to our spouses and love them as Christ loved the church. The covenants we enter into are so important that death is the only thing that breaks them. Mom and Dad, you are starting a new leg of your journey. There may be times of refreshment and times of turbulence but you know there is one in the cockpit taking you where you need to be, keeping his promise. As you begin this new leg of the journey you have decided to renew your vows.

Dad/Mom, repeat after me:
You are mine, and I am yours, How
God brought us together, kept us together.You are God's gift to me,
my priceless treasure,
my blessing for life.
You have helped me let go of the past
and now I embrace the future.
May God bless us as we come together before family and friends
to renew our pledge of love to one another.
I come today to give you my love,
to give you my heart
and my hope for our future.
I promise to bring you joy,
to be at home with your spirit
and to love you more tomorrow than I do today.

Covenant Renewal

As Good As It Gets

Carol Connelly is a waitress. She works long hours because her son, Spencer is nine years old and has asthma. He frequently has temperatures above 100 and she has to take him to the hospital several times a week. Carol, her mom and Spencer all live in a small New York apartment where Carol sleeps on the couch and Spencer's health problems keep him confined to the house. Carol has no life outside work and her family, because she worries about Spencer all the time. Any attempt she makes to have a relationship is interfered by her constant worry about her son. It's a never-ending process of work, and rushing Spencer to the hospital where the same inexperienced doctors tell her there's nothing they can do. In the spare time she has to breathe she worries. She worries that things will never get better for her. In her pain and despair she wonders, "What if this is as good as it gets?"
***
Simon Bishop is a Painter. He spends his days coloring canvases and loving on his dog, Verdel. His dog is his life and he worries more about it than anything else. His life hits rock bottom when he is assaulted in his own house and is hospitalized. He does not have enough money to pay his medical bills. His apartment is sublet to other tenants and he loses all desire to be an artist. As he faces his seemingly hopeless future he doesn=t care about anything but his dog. Unfortunately, Verdel likes Simon's neighbor, who happens to be his worst enemy, more than him. It seems like things couldn't get any worse. As he hobbles around the room, making his way through dry paint brushes and unpainted canvases, he wishes his dog would just come sit in his lap. And when he stops thinking about how his dog doesn't like anymore he wonders to himself, "What if this is as good as it gets?"
***
Melvin Udall is a successful Romantic novelist. He is also obsessive compulsive. He spends his time ordering his day precisely around routine and exactness. He has no meaningful relationships, except for the one with his computer and the lives he makes up in his books. The only love he knows is the one he tries to ignorantly publish. His rudeness pushes people away. He can't seem to open his mouth without saying something obnoxious. His fear of germs and his attention to habits cause him to be a social misfit. He wants change so bad he worries about it constantly. He can't seem to get his life together the way he wants it. In a waiting room at his psychiatrist he thinks out loud asking himself and the other patients, "What if this is as good as it gets?"
***
Carol, Simon and Melvin all find themselves in a similar situation. They all are at a stage in their lives when nothing seems to go right. They don't feel like their situation will ever improve so they have nothing to look forward to. Wondering if this is as good as it gets gives them hope that the answer is no. But when they are done wondering, they have to settle for the fact that for now, it isn't going to get any better. They are stuck. Their lives aren't going anywhere and it is driving them crazy. All they want is a moments peace where they can forget about their worries. If everything could just go away, they would be alright. If Carol's son could only get better, or at least if she had enough money to see a good doctor. If Simon could only get a little help getting around. If only his pet dog would respond to him. If only he weren’t in so much pain. If Melvin could only get over his obsessive compulsive disorder and not be so self-centered his life would be better. If only.....
***
If only our "if onlies" were reality, we would have a lot less things to worry about. We wouldn't have children going to bed hungry at night. We wouldn't see children having children. We wouldn't have kids killing kids. If only this wasn't as good as it gets, we would have something to look forward to.
Why do we look at our lives wondering why things aren't better right now? Is there some sort of ego trip we are on that gives us a right to have everything go our way? Is each person entitled to live without pain and suffering? Is this really an inalienable right? As I look around, I see many people who have a lion's share of the pain and suffering while I have very little in comparison. I don't have a son who struggles to breathe. I don't have an empty refrigerator and an empty wallet to go with it. I don't have friends or relatives who work in buildings that terrorists fly airplanes into either. While I sit here wondering, "What if this is as good as it gets?," my neighbor could be sitting there watching me, wondering, "Why doesn't he know how good he has it?" If we are all drawn to desire something better than what we have, isn't there something we can all hope for together that we can share?
***
It is a valid question for us to ask. There's no doubt that when I sit at the feet of Jesus on a hill side where he teaches that many are wondering the same thing. Roman occupation of their holy city has them wondering, "What if this is as good as it gets? What if the Messiah never comes!" Jesus, sensing their worry responds. He says, “Are you poor in spirit? It gets better! Your’s is the kingdom of heaven! Are you mourning? Do not worry! You will be comforted! Do you have little possessions? You’re in for a treat! You will inherit the earth! Are you never satisfied with your relationship with our father? Your hunger will be satisfied! Do you forgive others who have wronged you? You will also be forgiven! Have you kept yourself pure? It will pay off! You will see God. Do you find yourself in the midst of quarrels? You will be considered my son. Are you suffering because of the good choices you have make? It will get better, you will be in heaven soon. You are wondering now if this is as good as it gets, but you have no idea how good it will be. You may not know it now, but you have reason to rejoice and be glad. You have a hope of heaven just like everyone else who has wondered if this is as good as it gets.

There's a song by Mercy Me that captures what we have to look forward to, called "In You"

I put my hope in you.
I lay my life in the palm of your hand.
For I'm constantly drawn to you O Lord
In ways I cannot comprehend.

It's the Creator calling the created.
The Maker beckoning the made.
The bride finding what she's always waited for
When we find ourselves that day.

In you, where the hungry feast at the table.
The blind frozen by colors in view.
The lame will dance, they'll dance for they are able.
And the weary find rest
O, the weary find rest in you.

Its no secret that we don't belong here.
Though set apart by the grace of you.
We look for the day when we go to a place
Where the old become brand new.

In you where the hungry feast at the table
The blind frozen by colors in view
The lame will dance, they'll dance for they are able.
And the weary find rest
O, the weary find rest in you.


Jesus saw the crowds and sat down among them. Do you think that Jesus knew by looking at the crowds, just how downtrodden they were? The crowds came to Jesus because they knew when they were around him, things got better. They knew that when Jesus was in the neighborhood all those who were afflicted with diseases and pains, the demoniacs, epilectics, paralytics and all the sick got a sample of what life tastes like when it is as good as it gets. Jesus saw this and so he tells them about the beatitudes. He sees the pain in their eyes, he sees the hope in their eyes.

When we have this kind of relationship with Jesus where he can see the pain and the hope, the weary will find rest. Jesus has the power to give rest. He has the power to truly show us how good it can get. Carol, Simon and Melvin all ask, If Only…? We also ask, if only…if only we could be where life is as good as it gets. We know where that is, and if the beatitudes tell us one thing, its that life as good as it gets is worth waiting for, its worth living for and its worth dying for. If Jesus is trying to tell us anything, its that he was willing to die so that we can have life as good as it gets.

As Good As It Gets

My Days As An Olympian in Greece

The race was coming to an end and I had managed to stay neck in neck with Lloyd Taylor all the way to the end. Only 20 yards separated me from victory.



I couln't believe I was actually running a race in the original Olympic Stadium in Athens Greece. I knew this was the biggest race of my life...maybe the only race of my life. Nonetheless, I had trained for this race earlier that morning. The cook back at the hotel had said "seconds" were available and I knew there wasn't much left. I sprinted from my table to see if I could get my hands on the last cinnimon role. I won the race to the breakfast pastry, now all I had to do was beat Lloyd and I would win the gold.

There was only 10 yards left and I was pulling ahead of Lloyd, then all of a sudden something deep down within me began to churn. I didn't know what it was. As I began to think of my cross-training in preparation for the race, it became clear...the cinnimon role would rise again.



I didn't know what to do. I was going down. All my hopes of winning were flashing before my eyes as I fell to the ground. I reached my hand out to break my fall and glanced up to see Lloyd. I remembered he ate a banana and a handful of grapes that morning. Why did the greek woman with the name I couldn't pronounce have to make such great pastries? Why did I not eat any fruit with my spiral of doughy goodness? Why couldn't I have been sitting a little farther away from the buffet to get some more training in before the big race. It was all over.



The crowd hushed, the flashing of cameras momentarily stopped. The bystanders gasped in amazment. Everyone had such high hopes of me pulling through. Now, they would cheer for someone else. Now they would never believe I could actually do it. Now they wouldnt let me eat any more cinnimon roles.

I laid there...thinking...thinking...Who cares about a stupid race anyway?

My Days As An Olympian in Greece

The Lord is Your Life

This isn't the sermon I preached this past Sunday but it is one of my favorites so I thought I'd post it instead.

The Lord is Your Life

Deut 30:11-20

Surely, this commandment that I am commanding you today is not too hard for you, nor is it too far away.  It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us, and get it for us so that we may hear it and observe it?” Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us, and get it for us so that we may hear it and observe it?” No, the word is very near to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart for you to observe.
See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and adversity. If you obey the commandments of the Lord your Godb that I am commanding you today, by loving the Lord your God, walking in his ways, and observing his commandments, decrees, and ordinances, then you shall live and become numerous, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you do not hear, but are led astray to bow down to other gods and serve them,  I declare to you today that you shall perish; you shall not live long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.  I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and holding fast to him; for that means life to you and length of days, so that you may live in the land that the Lord swore to give to your ancestors, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.


Moses is standing on Mt Nebo talking to the Israelites. These are some of his last words he speaks to the nation. Can you imagine what is going through his head as he speaks these words.
He stands there and remembers all that has happened since he and the thousands before him first left Egypt. And as he speaks, all Israel is forced to remember with him.

Moses remembers first hearing God’s plan for him. He remembers being up on Mt. Horeb and God telling him, "I have heard the cries of my people." He remembers being afraid to take God’s word to the Israelites because of his poor speaking abilities. As he stood there before God he could see God’s people as slaves in Egypt being forced to make bricks, often beaten by the Egyptians.

Do you remember making bricks? Do you remember stomping in the mud while someone else added straw to make the job a little easier? Making bricks wasn’t all that difficult but it was the cruel Egyptians that made it hard. Stomping in the cool mud during the heat of the day is easy except for when you accidentally fall and an Egyptian beats you. Do you remember crying out to Yahweh in Heaven for deliverance? All you wanted was a word from Heaven proclaiming an end of the oppression you face. But it all seems impossible and beyond your reach.

Do you remember standing at the edge of the red sea. The crashing waves of the sea mean death in front of us and Egypt’s army with its chariots and legions of fighting men with Pharaoh leading them mean death behind us. Do you remember the doubting? Doubting whether it makes sense to have left Egypt to die. Doubting whether the God who has been absent for hundreds of years is now going to prove faithful in fulfilling his promise. You just want to be beyond the sea. All you want to know is how Moses is going to get you there.

As Moses speaks on Nebo’s mountainside his words ring more true in Israel’s ears than anything. His words of life and prosperity, death and destruction all bring images of God’s interaction with them since they were in Egypt. The words death and destruction remind them of when they hid in their houses with lambs blood painted on their door frames as they heard the cries of neighbors who just lost their firstborns. The words death and destruction remind them of their fathers and mothers. They are reminded of the lack of faith they had at Sinai, the idolatry that followed and the forbiddance of them to enter the promised land. The death of a whole generation of people.

Moses words of death and destruction evoke memories of fighting the Amalekites and how they were defeated. They remember Moses on the hillside sitting on a rock with Aaron and Hur holding his arms up so that the Amalekites might be destroyed.

As the Israelites stand there at the edge of their promised land the words life and prosperity carry with them hope and the assurance of God’s faithfulness. Words of life force them to recall times when they were so close to death that only God’s intervening hand kept them alive. Remember waking every morning to collect the manna that formed. It was as if with each new day the promise of life in the desert was revealed through the bread that was provided. Remember at twilight the quail appearing. Out of nowhere, life showed itself in Israel’s midst.
As Moses Speaks to Israel, they realize that what he is commanding them really isn’t difficult and beyond their reach. They can look back on their lives and history and see that what God has promised is being fulfilled. Their history allows them to understand exactly what Moses has been saying to them. All we have recorded in Exodus and Leviticus; All that Israel knew about the law was no longer a list of do’s and don’ts. God’s word is near to them. As Moses says, "it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

It seems like Moses makes it an easy choice for Israel. He says in verse 16, " For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." It seems pretty cut and dry. Love God, walk in his ways and keep his commands. Moses makes it simple. In essence he boils it down to your typical three point sermon. He says if you do all this, you will live and increase and God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. Why wouldn’t everyone follow Moses three-step guide to the blessings of God? It’s a whole lot better than the alternative.

He says in verses 17 and 18, "But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess." Why wouldn’t everyone follow the three-step guide to prosperity over the three step guide to destruction? The choice doesn’t seem hard to me. You would think the three-step guide to prosperity would be just as popular as Dr. Atkins low-carb diet. All the street vendors would be marketing their latest papyri scrolls on how to make it happen. If you are extra dedicated to achieving prosperity in the promised land get your own copy of God’s top ten on two stone tablets for your mantel. You would think, that with all that Israel went though they would be able to chose life over death. You would think that, standing on Mt. Nebo, they would be able to look out into the land that was promised to them; the land they left Egypt for. The land they wandered in the desert for 40 years for and say, "I’m willing to do what it takes to take God up on his offer of blessings and prosperity, sign me up for life!!"

Do you ever read the stories in the Old Testament and wonder if the Israelites could get anymore clueless? You read about how they abandoned the way of the Lord and adopted the lifestyle of the Canaanites and it reminds you of lemmings. Do you know what a lemming is? A lemming is a small rodent that actually migrates from one place to another. At a particular time during the year the lemming will change its living location. Probably what lemmings are known for most is when they migrate, they just follow the lemming in front of them. In essence you may have thousands and thousands of lemmings that are following one other lemming. For some reason this lemming leader often doesn’t know where he is going and will lead all the follower lemmings off cliff into the sea. Now, if I were a lemming...when I saw the cliff’s edge, no matter how much I liked the lemming in front of me, when I saw the edge of the cliff, I would do all I could with my little lemming muscles to stop myself from being destroyed by falling off a cliff.

For some reason the Israelites followed the Canaanites all the way off the cliff. They had warning of the destruction that would follow but that didn’t stop them from joining in the Canaanite festivities. You would think that looking back on their history they would have remembered how God was faithful in their lives and how they knew what they were supposed to do and that they would have stopped themselves before they met the destruction they did. To make things worse, this happened over and over again.

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, "If I had been an Israelite, I wouldn’t have done that?" Do you ever find yourself thinking to yourself as you read the Old Testament, "Why don’t the Israelites remember that what they are doing is so wrong and God specifically told them not to do it. How many times are they going to have to mess up before they understand what they are doing to themselves?"

Do you ever catch yourself thinking the same thing about yourself? If you are anything like me, you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again. Sometimes you wonder Why can’t I just get my act together?

Is it because we don’t really know what is wrong? Are we ignorant of any sort of moral truths by which we are to live? I don’t think so. 2 Peter 1:3 tells us that, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."

Could we just we excuse it by saying we are generally good people and that should be good enough for God? I have known a lot of people who think that. They believe in God and they think that if they just donate enough money to the salvation army or simply obey the laws and pay taxes that they will be saved. Have you known anyone like this. These people don’t understand what Paul means in 2 Corinthians 3 when he says that we are to be transformed into the image of Christ with ever increasing glory. Or what Jesus himself says in Matthew 5:48, "Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly father is perfect."

Do we just need to love God more? Is it this simple? Its easy for us to say it was so simple for the Israelites but when we ask ourselves how much we are loving the lord our God with ALL our heart, ALL our soul, ALL our mind and ALL our strength, it becomes much more difficult.
In a world where God’s word seems so far away, its easy to understand why loving God with our all could be so difficult. In a world where death seems so pervasive, any message of life is almost counter-cultural. We have sexual lifestyles that only lead to death being legalized. There’s war coverage on every news channel. Its in the movies and on the television shows. This all in addition to the mere fact that death is the end we all will eventually meet unless the Lord should come first. Is loving God more difficult in this world that seems to pride itself on issues that only lead to its destruction? I think it is. I think it is.

But there’s good news. God is more faithful than we are. God is more faithful than we are. When all of Israel has turned its back on God, He still provides the manna. God is more faithful than we are. When all of Israel has worshiped idols, He still leads them into the promised land. God is more faithful than we are. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that God will not let us be tempted beyond what we can stand. God is more faithful than we are. He says that God will always provide us with a way out when we are tempted. God is more faithful than we are.
This leaves us with a choice. We have a choice just as the Israelites did on Mt. Nebo. It is obvious which decisions lead to life and prosperity and which lead to death and destruction. It is not too difficult for us, nor is it beyond our reach. The answers are not up in heaven that we need to ask what we ought to do. God’s word isn’t far away. It is in our mouths and in our hearts so we can obey it. We have set before us life or death. As Moses says, "Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life."

The Lord is Your Life